Intro

Gluten Free, Dairy Free, Divine


Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Thanks for a great year of expos, everyone!

My expos are over for the year, so now it's time to jump in and work like mad on the next books! 

This has been a huge year for me, with events in Phoenix, San Diego, Las Vegas, Salt Lake and Ketchikan, and my chaotic move back to Alaska. There have been loads of amazing moments, great people, days when everything threatened to fall apart and days when everything miraculously came together. Mostly though, it's been completely exhausting. I am beyond ready to get off the roller coaster for a bit and just hold up in my kitchen. I think the kitchen is glad to have me back, too. Check out our experiment from last night! 

Apple Crumble Cake 💘
The cake is perfect, first try! That's no minor miracle. It's tender, moist, and flavorful, with a soft bite and great rise in the oven. The crumble top tastes lovely, but will get at least a revision or two for texture and cohesion before the recipe goes into The Holy Grail of Gluten Free Holidays. 

If I have anything to say about it, that next Grail will be available holiday season 2015. But for that to happen, I have to get crackin'! Expect some preview shots in the months to come and the occasional cut recipe. Mostly though, expect me to be in the kitchen.

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Leaving Las Vegas, with S'mores

Once again, I've disappeared for a bit. But you'll forgive me, won't you? This time it was so that I could move back to Alaska, which has been loads of work, but is inspiring all over again. Instead of sweating my buns off in Vegas, ruing the thought of even approaching the oven, now I get beachside campfires, glorious wild berries, a monthly local market to bake for and old friends to share with. In short, I have more motivation to bake and create than ever.

This month I've come up with one more cookie recipe for the Holiday book, no dairy, low fructose pudding, and have two great cake recipes in the works which just need some refining. My favorite achievement though has been polishing my recipe for truly nummy Graham Crackers. Yay! (Except that I can't stop eating them.) They're destined for the summer section of the forthcoming holiday book, right next to the corn syrup free marshmallows I perfected just before leaving Las Vegas. 

I've also tested a nut free version of my beloved chocolate chip cookies with truly glorious results. I might be persuaded to post that one here for everyone if there was enough interest... Wink, wink, nudge, nudge, know what I mean?

Till then, I'm off to dive head first into a patch of red huckleberries. God, I love them! I think red huckleberries deserve their own dessert. Don't you? For anyone Ketchikan way the first Saturday in August, I will be at the Blueberry Festival, possibly selling some miraculous new recipe full of glorious red huckleberries, selling and signing books and even peddling some baked goods. See you there!

Sunday, May 25, 2014

A short culinary, cautionary tale

When I go to expos with my book, it generally means skipping lunch. Stopping to eat would mean that the booth goes unmanned, generally when there is plenty of traffic to be missed, which essentially defeates the purpose of being there in the first place. That's ok. On all but the longest days, I don't even notice, since the excitement and constant interaction with new people tends to make the hours fly by. 
At the last expo though, the first day was a long one. I had just enough time between people to recognize reall hunger bubbling up. A very cheerful young woman from another booth came bouncing by and ascertained that we authors would not be getting lunch. If this were a fairy tale, she would be the lovely, deserving, Rose Red. I supposed that would make me the dwarf with her beard caught in the tree, stuck as I was in my booth, and needing a little rescue. Huh. Why am I never the ingenue, even in my own story? Oh well. Dwarf I was. 
Our Rose Red, with all the sincere, helpful spirit of her fairytale counterpart, stole back to the booth she was working and swiftly returned with a couple slices of that company's gf pizza (with the usual rice plus starch based crust) for me and a snack for another author as well. If you know anything about me at all, you know how I feel about rice flour and the horrifying things it does to texture. In short it's not pretty and I am adamantly opposed to the GF industry's long standing reliance on inferior ingredients. See, I do sound like a querulous dwarf, don't I? But at the time, I put my food standards aside and gratefully accepted the offering. I was hungry, and she was kind, and at that moment the whole thing was lovely.
But, it was still an expo. I snuck nibbles of the pizza between chats with attendees, whenever I had an odd, unengaged moment. I was grateful for the warm bits of food finding their way into my belly. The dwarf wins a quasi freedom. Except of course that the warm, fresh pizza soon became cool and then room temperature pizza, and as you might expect, the stolen nibbles became harder and harder to chew. Finally, after a longer than average stretch of constant talking with attendees and selling and signing books, I snuck a last bite of pizza that had gone so hard once cooled that I broke a molar when I bit down on it. As in actually cracked it down into the root and the severed chunk of tooth had to be worked out of the gum, and I'm cringing now talking about it so I'm gonna stop. Rice flour strikes again. Damn you Rose Red and your ironically cruel kindness. Ow. The dwarf emerges free, but broken, and not entirely as grateful as our heroine might wish.
So a cautionary tale it is. Never eat cold rice crust pizza. Or better yet, don't eat crappy foods made with rice flour at all. Either way this is why, querulous dwarf as I may be, I generally get to eat way better baked goods than other gf'ers, because I will not bake or write a recipe with rice flour. So at least at home, I'm in no danger of breaking teeth. (Insert advertisement for my baking book, here. ;-) 

Ps. Yes, this is an entirely true story, except the part about me having a beard. I'm just not that hairy. And no, I will not tell you which company's pizza it was that I broke a tooth on. It could have been almost any mainstream GF pizza, since the formulas are all so similar and they all achieve a nearly rock like state once they've been out of the oven for an hour or so. It is an industry wide problem. And damn it, she was being nice! I'm not going to say anything that will get our heroine into trouble with her employer. Even as a dwarf, I'm just not that mean.

Monday, May 5, 2014

Flour Substitutions for HGGF

It seems the more events I do, the better feel I get for what different people can and can't eat. In the spirit of ultimate accessibility, here are some of the possible substitutions that should yeild the best possible results.

Please note that I have not tested all of these and those I have, I probably haven't tested in every case, so while it is the best information I currently have to offer, it likely will not be flawless. Also, I will update this page periodically as I gain more insight into each possible substitution.

Flours/Ground Nuts & Seeds
Can't eat              Use instead
Almond Flour        Cashew Flour or Ground Sunflower Seed
Amaranth Flour     Millet Flour possibly cut with a little starch, say 1-2 Tb out of each cup
Buckwheat Flour   Oat Flour (reduce or omit lemon juice added to soften buckwheat, but ONLY if leavened with baking powder)
Oat Flour              Buckwheat (be sure to add a little lemon juice to soften it, up to 1 Tb)
Quinoa Flour         Oat Flour or Buckwheat Flour (add up to 1Tb lemon juice to soften buckwheat)
Potato Starch       Arrowroot Starch
Flaxseed               Chia Seed
Fats
Grapeseed Oil      High Oelic Sunflower Oil (perfect and healthier substitute, same weight as olive oil)
Binders
Egg                      1Tb ground flax or chia mixed into about 3 Tb water, allow to sit 10 min
  (Remember, egg substitutes work best in small, contained items like muffins and rolls)
Xanthan Gum       Guar gum (use about twice as much, you will loose some rise)

About Xanthan Gum: If you find yourself reacting badly to Xanthan, and use the one sold by Bob's Red Mill, consider trying another brand before giving up on it entirely. Bob's, for some unfathomable reason, ferments theirs by feeding it WHEAT STARCH. I personally react very badly to their brand. But Xanthan performs so very well in baking, it seems a shame to discard it entirely if you don't have to. Hodgeson Mills is my new favorite for Xanthan. It performs consistently well, doesn't hurt me, and they sell it in little, inexpensive pouches, so it won't cost you a fortune to try it out, and it's always fresh.

What an awesome expo!

So, the GF Food Allergy Fest has now come and gone, but I have to say it was AMAZING! It was the first event presented by Living Without's Gluten Free and More magazine, but I'm certain no one could tell. They were so well organized, everyone was just amazing to work with, the variety and quality of businesses represented was top notch and every customer I interacted with seemed to be enjoying themselves. That last bit says so much about the quality of the expo. If this was their first effort, I can't wait to see what happens once they have even more experience.

The Gluten Free Food Allergy Fest will be making its way to Indianappolis in August and to Portland in September. If you possibly can, GO. Find your self at one of these amazing events. If I could, I would be at every one!

Thank you so much to all of you, not just the event organizers, but the other vendors, the volunteers, and especially the wonderful attendees who came out and celebrated with us. It could not have been the brilliant weekend that it was without a single one of you. Thank you so much!

Goodbye, my booth!

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

GF Food Allergy Fest Ticket Giveaway!

I can't believe how stealthily time is creeping toward the Gluten Free Fest in San Diego. With only 3 1/2 weeks leftI think it's about time I book a hotel room and GIVE AWAY SOME TICKETS! Don't you? So here's the deal.

I have 2 full weekend tickets to Living Without Magazine's Gluten-Free Food Allergy Fest.
To enter, all you have to do is comment here or on my Facebook page. I will draw 2 winners at random on Sunday, April 13th, and announce the winners here and on FB. Winners will have one week to message me with their full names if it's not in their comment, and winners' tickets will be waiting for them at will call at the event.

Also check out:
My FB Page
Fest's FB Page
There's a list of speakers and classes on their FB page that you might want to check out.
Comment to win, cause I want to see you there!!!

Two words...

Breakfast     Curry
Oh. Yeah.

Thursday, April 3, 2014

Magic is happening, even when I forget to show you

I know I can be bad about posting regularly, but around here we are truly never idle. So when I disappear, it usually means there's something awesome going on.

This week I've finished these amazing low carb, grain free wonders:
Fluffy pancakes
Awesome salmon cakes
Lucious Lamb Burgers
Dairy Optional Whipped Cream
Divine mini cheesecakes 
60 second pizza sauce

And I have in progress:
Good, easy crackers
Those pesky, never perfect brownies
A couple nummy sauces and...
(Trumpets sound... Drum roll.. Symbol crash!)
Tada!
Extremely promising paleo pizza crust
It made a hell of a lunch today! :-)
I can't wait to share a whole new book with you all! Until then, I'll be working really hard to make it worthy of all your taste buds, and able to support and enhance your health, too.
XO,
Dawn

Friday, March 28, 2014

I Want to Eat the Easter Bunny

Spring is in the air.
Well, at least it is here in Vegas. My poor husband is working in Minot and currently getting snowed on. Sorry babe! But down here it's different. I am warming up, watching the flowers bloom and nibbling away at beloved holiday figures. Can you blame me? I mean, who doesn't want to eat the easter bunny, or at least some sweet, edible effigy of the mythical creature? Right now the stores are full of bunnies made from chocolate, marshmallow, mint cream, gummies, you name it. Walking through target requires carrying a napkin to catch the oh-yum-I-wish-I-could-eat-that drool. Low carb living somehow starts to loose its appeal around major holidays.
So, to indulge? Or to diet? As usual, instead I choose to-the-kitchen!
This is one of my simple answers to sweets cravings - so simple you can hardly call it a recipe. But make it anyway. It's yummy. It's a little bit filling. And it won't give you a sugar crash, or destroy any dietary good intentions.

Coconut Cream Gelatin Bunnies
Yields about 36 small bunnies or similar shapes

Set the kettle on to boil some water
In a large bowl, pour out
1 Can (12oz/354mL) Stevia Sweetened Soda (I recommend Blue Sky Zero Ginger Ale, or any flavor that sounds good with a hint of coconut)
Sprinkle over the top of the soda
2 Tb Powdered Gelatin
Once your water is boiling, add to the soda
1/2 C (120mL) Boiling Water
Stir well and constantly until all of the gelatin is dissolved, then add
3/4 C (180mL) Coconut Cream
Again, stir until well combined
Pour into shaped molds or a large baking dish and chill for 3 hours or more to set
Once set, remove gently from molds, using a thin, butter knife to help if needed, or slice into servings if molds were not used
Store chilled in an airtight container

This recipe contains about 1g effective carbohydrate per 4 bunnies and should be safe for most diabetics and low carb dieters, but please know your own body and make your own judgement call.
Bunny nibbled. Mission accomplished.

Saturday, March 22, 2014

Salsa on the Brain

Sometimes I just get stuck.

An idea will capture me, and my mind will churn and bubble and plan, and I simply will not be able to extract myself from it. I will experiment and create and obsess, but the one thing I can't seem to do is change the subject. Today I am jailed by visions of salsa, and quite frankly, I like it.

I love salsa, but I only started making my own in the last year, recently enough that I only had my own recipes for Roasted Tomatillo Salsa, a favorite of mine, and a flavorful, thick, fiery Habanero Hot Sauce, which I can't seem to live without. I took some of my tomatillo salsa to a get together this week and fell into salsa conversation with a friend over it. He talked about the recipes he'd tried and their plusses and minuses, and the brain started it's bubbling. I began thinking over the many flavors I've loved or loathed over the years, and I knew I had to have more. Two little recipes, however great, cannot quench the salsa lust.

So what am I doing now? I'm making salsa of course! What? I should be making dinner for my kids? But, salsa! It's past my bedtime? There's still this salsa, you see... It's 3 am? SALSA! The only down side is that I've no idea how I'm ever going to eat it all. But I'm going to love trying.

Happiness is turning this
into this.
So, like it or not, we can all look forward to a little more spice in our lives, or at least in my next book.

Friday, March 14, 2014

GF Fest in San Diego! Hells yeah!

Living Without Magazine is putting on a party and you're all invited! The Gluten-Free Food Allergy Fest will be held the first weekend of May, 2014 in San Diego, and your favorite, crazy cookbook author (that's me, right?) will be there to celebrate all the GF-ness along with you.

There will be tons of vendors, more authors, huge brands and small local companies, many giving samples, selling GF awesomeness and just plain enjoying being there with you.

Save the date! That's Saturday and Sunday, May 3rd & 4th in San Diego. See you there!

For more event info, click here.


Monday, March 10, 2014

Work In Progress

Working hard on the HGGF Low Carb!

This week I'm testing lamb cakes, tasty emulsions, one hell of a soup (finished last night) a few pudding like treats, and continuing the wrap and brownie evolutions. Busy, busy, busy and it's all for you! 

Well, no, ok. It's for me too. I do get hungry every now and then. 

How freaking awesome is it that this is health food?
Throw in your two cents! What are you just dying to have both low carb and gluten free? Tell me in the comments and it just might make it into the book.

Saturday, March 8, 2014

Special Expo Priced Book Sale

Quite a few people missed out on the expo prices in Phoenix since I sold out mid-way through Sunday. That hardly seems fair, so I am offering a small stock of books at the expo prices for anyone who missed out. If you still want to get in on the Holy Grail of Gluten Free for only $18 each or 3 copies for $45, now's your chance!

I set up a special square store you can purchase from; buy them here. Every purchase includes free first class mail shipping.

Thanks again to everyone for such a wonderful first expo experience!
 It was so great, I just signed up for my next one. Look forward to the formal announcement this week. 

Where do you think I should I visit next?

Friday, March 7, 2014

Seeking Low Carb, GF Brownie Perfection

  
Just in case you've never spent 5 minutes in the same room with me, I'll tell you something that everyone who has, already knows. I am a perfectionist.

By perfectionist, I don't mean, I'm meeting every goal, or I'm striving for excellence, or doing my personal best or any of that nonsense that was drilled into us in high school. No, I mean perfect-ionist. Some people will tell you, "there's no such thing as perfection," but I beg to differ. My most persuasive argument against this accusation is simply to feed the offending imperfectionist my Chocolate Butter Cake cupcakes, and that tends to convert them all on it's own. I have tasted perfection. 

Thanks to that taste I've developed for perfection, I'm also acutely aware of the imperfections in so many of my recipes. This recipe is NOT perfect. It's good. Satisfying. Enjoyable even. But perfect, it is not. I will continue to bake and re-bake, as I always do, in search of low carb brownie perfection. Meanwhile, here is the merely good and satisfying for you to enjoy at your leisure.

(This recipe is a part of my low carb GF diet project and calls for natural alternative sweeteners)

Low Carb Coconut Brownies
Yields one 8x8 pan of brownies or 9-12 servings
(Approximately 1-2.5 effective carbs per 1/9th depending upon your choice of cocoa brands)

Preheat Oven to 325*F/165*C

Dry Bowl:
Sift into bowl
   1C (86g) Cocoa Powder (I use Rapunzel. It can be hard to find, but it's sooo good, and ultra low in carbs too!)
Add, then whisk all together to combine
   1/2 C (40g) Desiccated Coconut
   1/2 tsp Xanthan Gum
   1/2 tsp Salt

Mixer Bowl:
Cream together until well combined and almost fluffy
   1C (216g) Coconut Oil
   1/2 C (68g) Chicory Root Fiber (I used a brand called Just Like Sugar that I found at Whole Foods)
   1/4 C (49g) Erythritol (You could probably get away with a little less of this if you care to)
Scrape down the sides of the mixer and beat in 
   3 Large Eggs
   1 Tb Vanilla Extract
Slow the mixer to a stir and add in the dry ingredients a little at a time
Once they're stirred in, bring up the mixer speed and beat until well combined and uniform

8x8 Baking Dish:
Grease the bottom and sides of your baking dish lightly with a little oil or palm oil shortening
Spread the thick batter/dough** into the pan as evenly as possible
Bake for about 30 minutes, or until the center no longer appears damp and springs back when touched lightly 
Cool at least 10 minutes before attempting to slice, they will also taste more sweet the more you let them cool
Cool completely before storing in an airtight container



**Warning- Ridiculous Dawn Rant:
Seriously, what's up with brownie batter? I mean it's so bloody thick, you can hardly call it a batter. But on the other hand, it is a bit damp for a dough. So what is it really? Stiff batter? Damp dough? Maybe it's the missing batter-dough link, like a doubat or a badough... Yes, it must be a badough. 
Thanks for helping me to work through that. 

Saturday, March 1, 2014

Livin' la vida Low Carb

To celebrate the new book idea (which I spent the whole morning working on), tada! A variation on my favorite low carb/paleo breakfast.
Fried eggs, over easy (usually, they went a little too long today, but were still good!)
Ripe Avocado
My homemade Habanero Mayonaise
A few, divine raspberries
And today as a treat, one of my brownie failures
Yum!

I rarely ever get tired of eggs in the morning, but I think the real secret to this is spicing them well and having a variety of accompanying sauce recipes to rotate through, which changes up the taste, texture and even nutritional profile. 

Try sprinkling eggs with sea salt and black pepper as soon as they're in the pan, then after you flip, sprinkle liberally with turmeric. It's awesome, savory, and way better than plain. And if you're looking for an extra kick of spice and/or nutrition, you can add cayenne, garam masala, and/or kelp powder at this point too. I know it sounds crazy, but I love it! Experiment with your eggs tomorrow morning, and see what you like best. Remember that if you go all out, you'll want something cooling to accompany the spice, so serve it with mayo, sour cream, yogurt or similar and enjoy.

I'm thinking of including my recipes for habanero sauce and mayo in a later post, but I have to measure things first! They're recipes I always seem to just throw together, so I'll have to work on it for you.

Happy Saturday!

Friday, February 28, 2014

Holy Project #3


Back from Phoenix, and right back in the kitchen!

I talked to so many great people at the expo, and the experience was awesome! Thank you all. There was one thing I heard quite frequently though, that got me thinking.

Many individuals seemed to be looking for low carb, diabetic friendly, GF foods. I've read that diabetes is commonly associated with Celiac Disease, so this shouldn't have come as a surprise. Coincidentally, I had just began a low carb diet myself. Between a need to undo some of the damage to my waistline after baking constantly, everyday, to finish the first Holy Grail, and having just read Good Calories, Bad Calories by Gary Taubes, low carb seemed like the thing to be. So far the diet has been good to me, and true to form, I'd already started experimenting with recipes. So I made a decision.

I'm already working on The Holy Grail of Gluten Free Holidays, so why not pile on a little more work, take a break from the sugar, and jump into writing a low carb book too? Sounds like a plan to me. I've got crepe wraps in the works at about 5 net carbs each, some great sauces and meat recipes, a lovely low carb cheesecake recipe and tonight, I baked up a marvelous failure. These brownies are definitely not perfect yet, but I still like them.

At least working on this project won't necessitate larger pants.

Thursday, February 20, 2014

On My Way… Almost

It's absolutely amazing the things that suddenly seem like such great things to do when you have a task in front of you that is somehow comparably worse. Procrastination station, that's where I'm at, and I don't see this train leaving anytime soon. You see how bad it is; I've even decided to blog (relevant previous blog about blogging).

Today is the day I should be packing the car, double checking my supplies, and headed off to Phoenix towards family, cheap produce and the sure to be groovy Gluten & Allergen Free Expo I'll be attending (If you're in the area, be there or be square. Of course I'll be there, and I'm a little square… eh, just come). So what am I doing? That's right, I'm sitting here typing! So very productive...

I really am excited about this whole thing, but somehow my body is mis-wired and excitement always seems to read as crazy freaking stressed. Truly. I'm so excited, I've developed an eye twitch. Truth be told, I'm also pouting about it a little. This baker lady here has just recently decided how important it is to cut carbs for a while to give my poor body a break from the excessive baking and tasting. I think it was a good decision. It feels good. But I also feel like I just barely got started and Oh! The sampling to be done this weekend! I'm clearly ambivalent. I want to try everything! But I still want to feel good too. What to do? What I always do of course! Pretend there is no decision to be made until I am out of time and am forced to play eeny meeny miney mo. If anyone out there has ever wondered what my life was founded upon, there you go. Indecision and children's rhymes for the win.

And now… I may actually have to pack. See you in Phoenix!

Thursday, February 13, 2014

Finally, a post, and a GIVEAWAY! Yay!


Well, I've been lazy so far this month! I can't believe this is my first post since January. But I swear there is a good reason, and it's not just that I got my brain wedged in another manga series (honest!). I've actually been really busy getting everything ready for my first big expo! Yes, I know I posted about this last time, but it's still awesome!

Which brings me to my news for today... I have 5 free tickets to said expo to give away. Yay! But you have to go visit me on Facebook to get in on the deal. If you're near the Phoenix area and even remotely free Saturday or Sunday the 22nd & 23rd, then go enter to win! Go on, get over there, shoo! And come see me at the author table!

Enter at www.facebook.com/TheHolyGrailofGlutenFree  May the GF force be with you!

Friday, January 31, 2014

Phoenix GFAF Expo

Details at gfafexpo.com

The Holy Grail is on it's way to it's first expo!

All you Phoenix Area GF'ers, mark your calendars, and come see us. There should be lots of GF sampling to do, classes, great companies for you to discover, and awesome, new things to purchase (like my book, available at the author table)! I'm really excited just to be in a place where everything is safe for me. That will be magical all by itself. In my head, I'm having a total Willy Wonka candy room moment, only without falling in the chocolate. Seriously, there is wow factor in the whole entirely GF setting. I'm so excited!

I'm still working out the details of our trip to PHX, but should have everything ready within the week. I'll pass any scrumptious new details as soon as I get them! Look forward to it. I'll see you there!

Saturday, January 25, 2014

Birthday Party 99 Cent Kindle Sale!

We're celebrating here! It's a week full of anniversaries for us, of my diagnosis, of my first great recipe, two important birthdays, and while we celebrate today with kids and cake, you can too! This weekend, try out all the awesome recipes on Kindle, or use the kindle app for iPad or android, for only 99 cents! Still on sale next week too, for $1.99.
This is the one and only time this will happen, per amazon's rules, so be sure to take advantage.




The Holy Grail of Gluten Free is also coming soon to Nook and iBooks, but why wait?

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Happy Birthday, Holy Grail!


Pound Cake, recipe from Holy Grail
Today is the day that started it all. 

If you're one of the 6 whole people who read the author's note in my book, then you already know the story, so I'll keep it short.

Today is Monkey 1's birthday. It was 4 years ago today that, in a fit of pre-party insanity, I started throwing random flours into a bowl with no rhyme, reason or recipe and through some kind of divine intervention, ended up with miraculously good vanilla cupcakes and my first GF recipe.

That recipe was the spark that ignited enough passion to create good foods and then, a good book. After a minor revision or two, it also became the vanilla butter cake recipe in my Holy Grail, and we still love it. It was shocking when Monkey 1 requested pound cake this year with extreme German chocolate for the party this weekend, because he's still forever begging for that first vanilla cake. If you haven't tried it yet, you should. Celebrate with us this week. We'll make it an official, GF holiday, the birth of the Holy Grail of Gluten Free.

Happy birthday to the boy and the cake and the obsession. May all three flourish.

Monday, January 20, 2014

Five Years a Celiac

Today is the 5 year anniversary of my life as a diagnosed Celiac. It’s also my birthday. It’s also MLK day, and like him, I have a dream, but it’s more about taste equality, and lack of a fear of crumbs, than basic human rights, so I must concede that he earned the day far more than I did. But as I said, it’s my birthday, so perhaps you’ll indulge my slightly less altruistic reminiscence?

Five years ago today, I had a lot of lasts: my last taste of normal pasta, my last, soft nibble of my favorite herbed bread from a local, Alaskan restaurant, my last bite of gluten filled cake, my last night of not worrying whether going to a restaurant was too much like playing Russian roulette. Of course I did end up terribly ill that night. Knowing we were testing for Celiac, I loaded up. I went on one last gluten binge, and I paid dearly for it. I was so sick I didn’t even want the cake by the time it came out. I bloated so acutely that I couldn’t even button my stretchy pants to leave the restaurant with dignity. I was only saved from complete humiliation by a very long shirt. 

Fast forward nearly 5 years to last Friday night. As part of a sort of early celebration we stopped off for dinner at Chili’s while we were out. All of you seasoned Celiacs probably can hear the death knoll already can’t you? Go out on a Friday night? When it’s so busy and kitchens are messiest? Yeah. A smart move it was not. When there was a wait to get in I should have taken it as a sign and turned right around. But did I??? Nope. I was starving. And I had talked with one of the managers of this location before and they had served my well since, though admittedly never at such a busy hour. So in I went, ordered the same dish I always do after confirming it was still on the GF list, requested that kitchen managers be alerted, etc. And just like 5 years before, I found my self in utter agony, desperately unbuttoning previously comfy pants upon which I had assumed the buttons were merely decorative because I had never needed to use them before.

That night was the worst reaction I have ever had in my life. I ended up in the ER before the next morning, having nearly fainted a couple of times from severe dehydration. It felt like a perfect storm of glutening meets horrendous food poisoning, though my trooper of a hubby ate the last half of my meal to be sure and didn’t so much as get gassy, so maybe gluten meets virus? Either that or they supercharge their gluten at Chili's. At any rate, 2-3 days later, I’m not yet tolerating solid foods. They're too painful. There likely won't be cake this year thanks to that, even one of my good, GF ones. (And I had soooo been craving a rum cake! I’m seriously pouting over here.) Instead of cake this year, I just get to dream.

The cake I'm dreaming of today.

Maybe my dream is about human rights, after all. I think it’s a pretty basic human right to expect to be able to eat without fearing for your immediate health, or life, as with anaphylactic reactions. So I’m dreaming of a world where restaurants only publish GF menus when they really have the knowledge, training, space and equipment to actually provide GF foods, whether they're busy or not. I’d vastly prefer 1 or 2 safe options to 15, any one of which might be the next to poison me (related rant here). I’m dreaming of a world safer than 20 ppm for stuff that’s labeled GF. I’m dreaming of better research into cross-reactive foods. I’m dreaming of future birthdays, when I’ll actually get to eat and enjoy the cake.


So maybe it’s not as lofty as MLK’s dream, but it’s mine. 

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

The Really Empty Carb, or Why I Hate Rice Flour


Just in case you are brand spanking new to the world of gluten free foods, I'm going to tell you something that the rest of us discovered in the first 10 minutes of reading labels/recipes; it's basically all made of rice. White rice flour, brown rice flour, sweet rice flour, brown rice syrup, glutinous rice flour, rice starch, there are seemingly endless permutations of rice, but it's all still mainly rice. The problem is that nutritionally and texturally, not to mention satisfaction and flavor wise, rice in baked goods is the king of suck.

Nutrition has so many pretensions to importance these days that we'd better jump in there first, lest we be accused of only attending to pleasure. Compared to wheat flour, brown rice flour has more carbs, less fiber, more sugar, minimal protein, and far less of most nutrients and minerals, yielding more, emptier carbs per cup than the stuff most fashionably GF people are trying to avoid. This is exactly why the GF diet is NOT synonymous with a low carb diet. Far, far from it. If rice flour substitutes are used, baked goods are even carb-ier, less nutrient dense, and generally offer nutritional nada apart from their lack of gluten, which really, from one angle, is just another thing they don't have apart from carbs. Rice flour epitomizes the empty carb.

Unlike white sugar, rice flour can't even redeem itself aesthetically. Sugar at least tastes good. Rice flour tastes like... Nothing. It has no flavor, unless you happen to keep it around too long, at which point it will taste stale. Before you get excited about the possibility of it taking flavor well, like tofu is supposed to do, try to remember how much of the flavor of a slice of bread comes from the grain itself. This lack of flavor is not an asset, it's a void we seek, and generally fail, to fill. GF store bought breads so often taste like nothing but the excessive amount of yeast in them, even when supplemented with "natural flavor" according to the label.

The last, most obvious deficiency of most commercial GF offerings is texture. Anyone who's had the misfortune to open up a package of Glutino's bread can tell you that GF generally means crumbly, dry, either a sandy or gummy mouthfeel, and stuff that's almost edible when warm, but stiff enough to chip a tooth on once cool. Every one of these characteristics is a direct result of the use of rice flour. Imagine for a moment the texture of cold, plain rice: hard, sticky, dry outside, too chewy inside. This is what they are making bread from. Small wonder that it's nearly all texturally revolting.

Add it all up and you've got baked goods with all the health hazards of white sugar or starch, that have horrid textures, and at best taste like an abundance of yeast, all thanks to our pal, rice flour. You may be asking; if it's so bad, then why do so many companies use it to create their GF offerings? Easy, it's CHEAP. Rice flour's only redeeming quality is of course, the one quality that businesses find most appealing. Figures, huh? But it's not good enough for me, either to eat or to cook with.

For anyone out there who's wondered why I never, ever use rice flour in any of my recipes, now you know. Demand more. Skip the rice.

Sunday, January 12, 2014

Holiday Book is Progressing

The real reason it took me so long to get that last post up...



Carrot cake experiments! Ginger Orange Carrot for the win! This is one more for the forth coming holiday book. Look forward to it.

GF Fried Chicken Thighs of Awesomeness

Allergens: egg, corn

As promised, here's my simple, tasty GF, dairy free fried chicken recipe. As always you will find no dastardly rice or offending tapioca here, just pure, GF yum. This is my first time writing up a recipe this way, so if it's a little rough, please forgive me. :-)



What you'll need:
Boneless skinless chicken thighs
Corn Flour (note that this is different from corn starch and the two are not interchangeable)
Eggs
Water
Seasonings (salt, pepper and whatever else you like)
Frying oil (palm, olive or good old lard works best)
Heavy bottomed frying pan, preferably cast iron
Candy/frying thermometer
2 Shallow bowls
Skimmer or slotted spoon

Note on the meat:
Technically you could use any boneless, skinless cut of chicken here, but thighs are amazing and above anything they are incredibly forgiving. Cook a strip of breast one blink too long and it will magically go straight from awesome to, "omg, that's dry!" Thighs on the other hand, are not only more juicy and flavorful than breast-meat when done right, they will stay that way even if you leave them frying a little too long. Love them!



In one small bowl, whisk together well about (approximations are ok for this recipe)
   3/4-1C (90-120g) Corn Flour (Bob's Red Mill markets a GF one)
   Large Pinch of Salt
   Sprinkling of Black Pepper
   Any other desired spices (I usually sprinkle lightly with chili powder and garlic powder, but it's very flavor flexible, experiment with it and have fun!)



In another small bowl, lightly beat together
2 Large Eggs
About 2-3 Tb Water

Slice the thighs into strips or chunks, I usually cut them into about 4-5 strips each, but what ever floats your boat is ok by me.

Slap a thermometer on your frying pan according to the instructions that came with said thermometer.

Add oil to the pan to at least 1" deep, 1"-2" is better.

Heat over high heat to at least 350 F/175 C. Throughout the cooking, you will need to watch the temperature and adjust the heat to keep it between 350 F/175 C and 390 F/ 200 C, but anywhere in that range will work well.

For maximum crispiness you'll also want to set up a wire cooling rack on top of a towel or paper towels to catch the drips of oil.



One piece of chicken at a time, wiggle it around in the seasoned corn flour.



Then dip it into the eggs, wetting it all over, and allowing excess egg to drip off.



Roll it in the corn flour one more time, then lay it into the hot oil. Continue battering and adding strips of chicken to the oil, but never put in so many as to crowd them.



I like to flip the pieces over after a couple of minutes, but they'll come out alright even if you forget as long as the oil is deep enough. They are done once they are browned.



Skim out finished pieces and lay them on the wire rack to cool, leaving space between them for steam to escape without damping the breading of neighboring pieces.

Enjoy!



Don't forget to filter and store your oil once it's cooled. It can be used a few times for things like this, and reusing it cuts down on the cost of frying considerably.








Saturday, January 11, 2014

What's For Dinner

Mmmmmm hm. I do love my chicken.
I'll post this super easy recipe tomorrow, look forward to it!


Sunday, January 5, 2014

It's What's For Dinner

Mmmm... Sometimes it pays to be in a rush!



Quesadilla-esque, grilled sandwiches on my Tortilla Style Crepes. Yum! My favorite is uncured salami with fresh guacamole, mixed greens, some sneaky pepper jack for those who can, and a kiss of homemade habanero sauce. I love it!

Saturday, January 4, 2014

Food-sanity; Are You Losing It?


All people who are exclusively gluten free in the long term eventually begin to suffer from a very specific set of memory problems. This is a bold claim, I know. But I also know that it is something that as a community we seem determined to throw a sheet over and pretend we can't see it. It's well past time that we all admit to, and finally begin to cope with, this degeneration of vital memory.

If you have been exclusively gluten free for 18 months or more and eaten more than 5-6 typical gluten free breads or baked goods, you are undoubtedly already suffering from some degree of Textural Transience.

Transience, according to Harvard Health Publications, "is the tendency to forget facts or events over time." Textural Transience is a specifically targeted form of transience where all memories of what specific foods should feel like are ultimately obliterated. The most notable food memories attacked are those of breads, cakes, and pizza crusts, which most of us could no longer describe with any accuracy. Textural Transience results from the combined effects of the gluten free diet, and the normal passage of time, on the human memory. All humans experience some degree of memory transience. It is a normal and even beneficial function of the human brain where by unused memories are dumped to make room for new, more relevant experiences. It is only under the influence of exclusive adherence to the GF diet that this normal function turns pernicious.

When we abstain from those evil, gluten laden breads we once loved, the memories of the way they felt, the nuances of texture and flavor which made them so comforting, are no longer being reinforced, which alone can weaken the memories. If gluten free substitutes for that bread are then consumed, we begin to amass those experiences as the newer and more relevant information in our memories. Each consumption of a gluten free substitute furthers the power of memory to favor the relevant, there by specifically targeting and gradually replacing our memories of what real bread ever was. It takes surprisingly few of these gluten free encounters for us to begin to loose our hold on food-reality. In my experience by the 6th new GF experience, there is some weakening of our memories of gluten. By the time we are a year in, we are almost definitely suffering on some level from not only Textural Transience, but often from Flavor Transience as well. Luckily, most of us prove slightly more resilient against the effects of Flavor Transience, since ideas of whether or not things taste pleasing are still generally reinforceable even on the gluten free diet. But over time and with repeated exposure to lousy baked goods, the new GF experiences will target, weaken, and eventually destroy flavor memories as well.

Even further into long term GF diet adherence, we begin to fall prey to an even more insidious threat, that of Suggestibility of Delectation. The vulnerability of human memory to suggestion has been well studied from many different angles. When we are struggling to recall a memory that made only a fleeting impression on us, or that has been weakened as through the effects of Textural Transience, memories of things we have heard or read that relate to what we are struggling to remember can step in to assert themselves as fact in our minds, as if they were actually our own memories or perceptions. Once there is sufficient cumulative damage wreaked upon or memory by Textural and Flavor Transience, we become highly susceptible to the suggestions offered by product advertising and reviews.

Imagine that you have read reviews of a new GF bread online, stating that it's "just like the real thing." You decide to try the bread. As you bite into the bread and begin to chew, you search your memory for what "the real thing" was like. If you are already suffering from Textural Transience, your memories of this will be fuzzy, tinged with doubt, or altogether missing. You will try to think harder, imagining that the memory is just a little rusty, rather than failing, but with nothing else to offer you, your memory will instead throw at you a combination of the newer more relevant experiences (what the GF bread you've had recently has been like) and what you've heard about this product (glowing reviews) and if it is better than at least one other GF bread you've had, you will conclude that, yes indeed, it is like the real thing! Your faulty memory will have not only dulled you perception and ability to compare foods, but it will have deluded you into even ENJOYING what is often an utterly substandard, texturally revolting, aftertaste hiding, doorstop of a loaf of bread.

My fellow Celiacs, join with me in finally admitting that we are losing our food-sanity. If we weren't we would not be seeing glowing reviews and genuine enthusiasm for things like Schar's white bread or shortbread cookies. I've tried both of these recently and through the eyes of someone constantly evaluating her own recipes, I can tell you in no uncertain terms, they are NOT good. Neither has any flavor beyond a slightly stale, dusty flavor to the cookies and that of yeast in the bread, and they both have appalling textures. The bread, touted in a review on amazon as "by far, the best gluten free bread," is brittle and dry, unless toasted, at which point it also becomes hard. The cookies, "just like butter cookies that I used to enjoy,"  according to an Interested Customer, are actually crunchy, uncomfortably crunchy, and prominently feature the unmistakable sandy texture of rice flour. They're like eating a beach, but without the salt. Yet they have enthusiastic fans! In fact, at least one of you out there reading this will balk incredulously at my comments because you are one of them. Case in point. Your memory has been compromised.

When I was first diagnosed, I saw the warning signs in the obviously quacks product reviews, the worst ones always coming from the those on the diet the longest. Accordingly, I tried to shield myself. I remained skeptical. I consciously tasted and critiqued every new food. I baked my own recipes to reverse some of the overwhelming exposure to lousy foods. But I am now nearly 5 years into my gluten free life having intentionally lapsed only once, and no matter how I struggle, my food memories have wasted as well. I do not know what anything tastes like anymore. I no longer have an intimate understanding of the way toast reacts to buttering, or the precise balance of moisture in a good loaf. And I also realize this could easily transform into the complacency with unfortunate food that I so abhorred in others when I was newly diagnosed.

But I will fight it! We all should. I will fight by requiring feedback from gluten eaters with accurate memories before publishing recipes so that I will not propagate the nasty side of the GF diet. I will do all I can to produce a ray of hope to those of us with our memories of amazing cupcakes lingering only as the merest shadow at the back of our minds. You should do your part by being more critical of what they try to feed us. Demand more. "Really good for gluten free," is not praise, it is a red flag. It tells us that to look upon this food item favorably, we have to used a rigged scale. Beware, and remind yourself that all food, GF and otherwise, is still food. No matter what your medical conditions require you to omit, you should still only admit what is really good, both the truly nourishing and the truly pleasant and satisfying to the palate. Typical GF rice flour concoctions are neither of these.

Don't go 'round the bend! Fight for your food-sanity!

Thursday, January 2, 2014

I Blame Gwyneth Paltrow


I was flipping through pictures of our fall on the East coast when I practically tripped over this stupid card. When I first spotted it in the store, I nearly choked on the laugh/gasp/groan/chortle/sigh trying to escape my throat all at once. Not a pretty moment, but an honest one. I was so enthralled/aghast that I immediately had to send a picture to the Hubby. I titled it, "I blame Gwyneth Paltrow." He didn't get it. But I couldn't help reflecting that my own emotional relationship with the whole gluten free fad is... Well, a good mirror of the fad's direct influence on my life as a Celiac. It's a love/hate thing, with an emphasis on a deep running gratitude/resentment struggle, and most days the resentment wins.

The supposed benefits of the fad are conspicuous enough for any know-it-all to point out at a cocktail party, just for fun. It's, " raised awareness," "created a market," and by doing so, led to all the great gluten free choices on the market today. This is where that gratitude I grudge so much comes from. I am truly grateful that there is enough money headed in the right direction to support companies like Aleia's, Bob's Red Mill's GF selection, the amazing GF millet and buckwheat I get from Arrowhead Mills, and all the little substitutes like GF Tamari and yes, even Applegate Farm's GF chicken nuggets when I'm desperate for quick, kid food. But at what price, this luxury?

The fact is, Gwyny can take weekends off. I can't. All those GF-because-it's-oh,-so-hip dollars are buying lax standards and bad attitudes. I, the Celiac, for whom the GF diet was originally contrived for a real medical purpose, now have to call manufacturers, not to ask whether an item is gluten free, but whether it is gluten free enough. I have been poisoned enough times to know that the labeling means very little to a number of manufacturers riding the GF dollar wave. I do realize that legislation will come into effect later this year that will legally define the term "gluten free" but I could, and probably will, write a whole other post on why the new law just isn't strict enough to be useful. And have any of us not had to face the incredulous, "just a little won't hurt," or "god, you're so picky," from the odd relative bearing food or server caught picking croutons out of our salad? And they always follow up with the eye roll/tongue click of annoyance meant to signify that they are only humoring our obnoxious selves when we insist on not eating our own illness. Why? Why are they so convinced that we're just hypochondriacal, uptight, persnickety pains in their rears? Because most people they encounter on a GF diet don't have to be this careful. For the casual GF'er, they're right. A little won't hurt, and making a fuss would be out of line. The prevalence of flippant GF dieting belies the seriousness and depth of real, GF treatable conditions in the public eye and in the bottom lines of food companies. Ms Paltrow is undermining our credibility.

And so, we get public disdain bubbling up as supposedly chic humor. We get this stupid card.



And you know what? It's funny. It hurts. I hate it. And I sure wish those who could, would get back to it and leave us a GF industry that's actually safe for the necessarily gluten free.