I Blame Gwyneth Paltrow

I was flipping through pictures of our fall on the East coast when I practically tripped over this stupid card. When I first spotted it in the store, I nearly choked on the laugh/gasp/groan/chortle/sigh trying to escape my throat all at once. Not a pretty moment, but an honest one. I was so enthralled/aghast that I immediately had to send a picture to the Hubby. I titled it, "I blame Gwyneth Paltrow." He didn't get it. But I couldn't help reflecting that my own emotional relationship with the whole gluten free fad is... Well, a good mirror of the fad's direct influence on my life as a Celiac. It's a love/hate thing, with an emphasis on a deep running gratitude/resentment struggle, and most days the resentment wins.

The supposed benefits of the fad are conspicuous enough for any know-it-all to point out at a cocktail party, just for fun. It's, " raised awareness," "created a market," and by doing so, led to all the great gluten free choices on the market today. This is where that gratitude I grudge so much comes from. I am truly grateful that there is enough money headed in the right direction to support companies like Aleia's, Bob's Red Mill's GF selection, the amazing GF millet and buckwheat I get from Arrowhead Mills, and all the little substitutes like GF Tamari and yes, even Applegate Farm's GF chicken nuggets when I'm desperate for quick, kid food. But at what price, this luxury?

The fact is, Gwyny can take weekends off. I can't. All those GF-because-it's-oh,-so-hip dollars are buying lax standards and bad attitudes. I, the Celiac, for whom the GF diet was originally contrived for a real medical purpose, now have to call manufacturers, not to ask whether an item is gluten free, but whether it is gluten free enough. I have been poisoned enough times to know that the labeling means very little to a number of manufacturers riding the GF dollar wave. I do realize that legislation will come into effect later this year that will legally define the term "gluten free" but I could, and probably will, write a whole other post on why the new law just isn't strict enough to be useful. And have any of us not had to face the incredulous, "just a little won't hurt," or "god, you're so picky," from the odd relative bearing food or server caught picking croutons out of our salad? And they always follow up with the eye roll/tongue click of annoyance meant to signify that they are only humoring our obnoxious selves when we insist on not eating our own illness. Why? Why are they so convinced that we're just hypochondriacal, uptight, persnickety pains in their rears? Because most people they encounter on a GF diet don't have to be this careful. For the casual GF'er, they're right. A little won't hurt, and making a fuss would be out of line. The prevalence of flippant GF dieting belies the seriousness and depth of real, GF treatable conditions in the public eye and in the bottom lines of food companies. Ms Paltrow is undermining our credibility.

And so, we get public disdain bubbling up as supposedly chic humor. We get this stupid card.

And you know what? It's funny. It hurts. I hate it. And I sure wish those who could, would get back to it and leave us a GF industry that's actually safe for the necessarily gluten free.